I tried, to the point of insanity, to post a song so that I could do the blog crawl thing....................................and it ain't happenin'. I apologize. My Handy-Dandy-Computer-Geek- Fix-It-For-Mom-Kit has gone camping for Spring Break.
But, in order to participate in SOME way,
I offer a list of songs that I would play,
If I could in someway,
Learn to play,
Songs. (winks at Ornery)

If you find one that you like, you can hum or whistle. But please, if you hear one this weekend or on the Crawl that is on the list, remember me! Raise the bottle, raise a glass, tap a fresh keg, and remember Slick.................

Freebird-----raises lighter, sways back and forth, eyes closed
Mother Nature--Koko Taylor-----amazing, gritty, blues
Sweet Home Alabama-------Skynyrd
Seven Bridges Road-------Eagles
Home Sweet Home-------Crue
Hillbilly Stomp---------Kid Rock
Watchin' The River Flow-----Dylan-----fire up a "fat-boy" memories!
Fight For Your Right-----Beastie Boys-----*shrugs* can't help it
Take It Easy-----Eagles
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer----George Thoroughgood /Destroyers
Mickey's Monkey-----Mother's Finest
It Don't Come Easy----Ringo Star-----takes me back
Drinkin' My Baby Goodby-----Charlie Daniels
I'm A Bitch-----Meredith Brooks-----well, sometimes *wink*
Chain Of Fools----Aretha?
Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'------Journey-----kiss me baby, all night long!
River Deep, Mountain High----Tina Turner
Stray Cat Strut----Stray Cats
Dream A Little Dream-----Mommas/Poppas
Love You----Jack Ingram----my sentiments, exactly
Life Is A Rock------Reunion----sing that one three times fast!
Crimson And Clover-------Tommy James /Shondells????
Do You Know What I Mean?------?
I Gotcha'--------Joe Tex-----Momma hated that one!!
Don't Think Twice----Dylan-----weed again
Simple Man------Skynyrd
Bob Away My Blues-----Marshall Tucker Band-----this one calls for beer
Love Hurts----Nazareth-----after TOO MUCH beer
Hair Of The Dog------Nazareth---one more beer
Tonight's The Night-----Rod Stewart------I remember a pick-up truck, a dirt road in the moonlight, and one good-lookin' man..........is it gettin' hot in here????????

I just put down a couple I wouldn't mind hearing tonight...........

But for right now, I gotta clean my house, before we O.D. on dust.
And then it's "date" night at my house!
Ya'll have fun!

I thought I had missed out on the Tag game, but Donna zapped me, so here we go:

1. "I want you to find a man and marry him, and make his life a living Hell."
My daddy said this to me after a fight he had with my mother. She had won that one, as I recall.

2. "That's just another way to say f*** you!"
My husband, after I said that I would like to just be friends.

3. "There is no knight in shining armor on a white horse coming to rescue you."
My mother. The kill-joy.

4. "We made Halloween cats in school. I made mine a BOY!"
My youngest child after getting off the school bus.

5. "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose."
Youngest again.

These five quotes have stuck with me for a long, long, long time. So I tagged Ace, Daisy, Fuzzy, and Pretty Rubble.

Another one that I really like is: The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.

I bet that got your attention.

It sure got mine.

I copped this from the local paper. It is a re-do of the original article from 2006. This hapless critter was found here in my town, and according to the writer of the article it was turned over to animal control and released "in a more favorable habitat".

Wanna bet???

It is a rat snake. Basically harmless, and this one was apparently thirsty. They are tight-lipped as a rule and this one did not wish to talk about it. I got my tongue stuck in a coke bottle when I was a kid, so I don't blame him.
They are not poisonous but they have a lot of unfriendly bacteria in their mouths and could give you a nasty infection if you pick it up and it is frightened, or, more likely, pissed off.
Or, as Grandma would say, they could "make you hurt yourself", trying to get away from it.

As I said in my profile, I am not frightened of snakes, and do not go with the "the only good snake is a dead snake" way of thinking. If it eats mice, rats, and bugs, it is welcomed. If I can make a positive I.D..

A poisonous snake is a different matter altogether. I have killed a rattlesnake, over five ft. long, with a .38. Ex said I put so much lead in it that it died of lead poisoning, not from loss of blood or damage.
I have lived in old houses that today would not come up to code, and have found snakes in the house a few times. All but one were non-poisonous.

I found the copperhead in the pantry when we lived on the bull farm.
We had two children at the time and the oldest was about eight. After a trip to the grocery store he wanted to be the one to put the groceries away in the pantry. So I let him; he wanted to help. It took him a little while and he was in and out getting the job done. Momma's little helper!
My ex went to work and after a bit I put the kids to bed. I have no idea what I went into the pantry for, but when I pulled the chain, and the light came on, I looked down and.........

Hello..............

He was coiled up next to the wall and the sink plunger. I saw the shape of his head and knew it was a viper of some sort. All I needed to know. I remember asking it to stay put..........
I know in hindsight that I should have used a gun, and it ain't like I didn't have several in the house, but our landlord didn't like toys in the yard..........he was unlikely to be happy with a hole blasted in his floor. You have never heard Slick claim to be smart.
I ran to the backyard shed and grabbed the first deadly-looking tool I saw. A sling blade!!!!!

Did you know that a sling blade is curved? I didn't. My hand does not fit a sling blade, so I was unfamiliar with it's traits. But it LOOKED deadly!
Back in the pantry door I took aim and came down with all I had. I hit the snake, but it wasn't a really big snake, so it didn't have the girth for the CURVED BLADE to cause any real harm. It just pinned him down.

This is a classic "Oh Shit" moment.

He thrashed around and struck the plunger and I saw the venom run down the rubber. He struck at me, the floor, he struck the handle of the useless-as-tits-on-a-boar-hog sling blade. He was just over a foot long and I caught him about half-way his length. He could maneuver some.
I can't turn him loose because all I could think of was the kids in their bedrooms. Too scared to turn loose and go after the shotgun that I should have grabbed in the first place. I saw a can of bug spray..........

Bug spray is also useless unless you really want to see a snake go crazy. I don't advise it's use. A blast of Raid in the face will have that effect on a snake, but it won't kill it. I threw the can.

The snake wriggled so much I had to shift the blade some to keep him in one place. Did I fail to mention that along with a curved blade, a sling blade handle is also SHORT? You don't want to be that close.

What to do, what to do..........I remembered the phone!
When we got the phone we had two problems. The phone was bright red, which Ex despised, no, it didn't go with the decor. And I knew where I wanted it, and he didn't like that either. He just gave up finally, and I had my bright red phone right next to the pantry door.
I held the blade on the snake with one hand, and I placed my left foot high up on the handle of the blade so I could use a little extra force to hold it all down tight to the floor, and dialed the plant where he was working the night shift, with the other hand. Not so easy when you are wetting your pants. Try it yourself.
When his superviser picked up I started screaming that I needed him home NOW, I had a snake in the house. He ran for my ex and he came in the back door about 20 minutes after I called.

Well. Mr. Oh-So-Calm looked the situation over, pulled out his pocket knife, leaned down, decapitated my adversary with one swipe, wiped the blade off with a paper towel, kissed me good-bye, told me to clean up the mess, and went back to work. Like we did this all the time.

Funny thing about it. Funny strange. I noticed a small animal trap by my backdoor a day or so later. It was a rabbit box. I wasn't sure how long it had been there. My ex-husband made rabbit boxes to catch small animals. You could put a snake in it. He wasn't afaid of the copperhead. And he had a girlfriend, that I learned about later on.

Hmmmmmmm............................

One of the ladies I work with stuck her Toyota Camry in the middle of a dry dirt road. Up to the frame.
She and her husband walk this road in the evenings because it is safer than walking the highway that runs in front of their house, and she was curious as to how far they had been walking. She decided to use the odometer in the Camry to check the distance.
Just because you see tire tracks, it does not mean that YOUR vehicle can make it. And there is a reason people don't use these cars for boggins and tractor-pulls. The Camry bogged down in a sand-bed.
Not wanting to call her husband to pull the car out, because she didn't want the lecture, she called her brother-in-law. He called a man who was working on a farm in the area, and he got the car out. She's waiting for a better time to tell hubby that the spoiler under the front of the car is cracked from the chain her rescuer used.
She feels sorta stupid right now.

But sometimes "stupid" takes an unexpected turn.

Twenty years ago, thereabouts, Ex and I decided to go to a favorite place to spend the day. Maybe do a little fishing.
This place is woods and swamp-land. It is also MILES away from everywhere else. There are a couple of different ways into the area, and we decided on a road (for lack of a better term) that we had not gone down before. Be careful if you take the road less traveled. There is a reason nobody uses it.
There was a big puddle across the road, and Ex decided to check the depth first. I watched him check it with a long stick and we judged the water to be, oh, maybe two inches deep. You see where this is goin', don't ya?
We were half-way through when the car squatted down and shut off. We were sitting there staring at each other like the morons we were, when my son's small voice came from the backseat. "There's water coming in!"



Son-of-a-gun, he was right! The water was filling up the back floorboards. And creeping up to the seat. I got out into water well past my ankles and got the kids out.
Miles away from a house, and this was before cell phones. No wench, no come-along.
We decided that he would hitch-hike to town, and the kids and I would sit tight until he got back with help. It was still early and I had brought snacks and drinks, and had a .22 rifle, so we were going to be okay. The kids were real troopers for the hour or so that we were in the woods, staring at the new family submarine.
Ex found a buddy, a truck, and a chain, and I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life!! And, since you don't ask the man with the truck who came to pull your sorry butt out of a stupid situation to crawl in the mud and water, Ex crawled in the mud and water, hooked it up, and out we came! With the day shot to heck we decided to call it quits and go home.
We passed a farm-house on the way back to town, and I turned my head (why, I do not know-or maybe I do know) just in time to see an elderly woman get knocked down by her car in her driveway, and watched her car back over her arm. Ex didn't see it happen, and I screamed at him to turn the car around. Her car turned around while crossing the road, and went backwards into the ditch. We just missed it when we turned around. When he stopped the car she was on her knees holding her arm up. It was shredded. Blood everywhere.
Sometimes there is no real time to think and things happen fast. I grabbed a shirt out of the seat and ran up to her. She was losing blood and in shock and pain, and I almost had to knock her down to lay her down. I could see the bones in her forearm, and the gravel and grass stuck in what was left of it. And she was screaming. Ex ran into her house, found the phone, and called an ambulance, while I wrapped the shirt around the arm and held pressure on it. I held on with all I had and tried to keep her calm. A man on a tractor plowing a nearby field saw the car in the ditch and when he got close enough to see us he came running and helped me hold her and the arm. It took a long time for the ambulance to get there as we were still several miles out of town. But thankfully, she was still conscious and they were able to stabilize the arm and she was transported to the hospital.
I was covered in blood and bits of flesh were stuck to my clothes. My kids were scared to death and had watched it all from the soggy back seat of our car. I saved my breakdown until we got home. I put my clothes and the shirt I used in the washer, and then I just fell apart. But they saved the arm and she made a full recovery, and that's what counts the most.

I don't think I believe in coincidence anymore. I haven't believed in luck for years now. All I know is that if we had done ONE THING differently on that outing, she may have died. If we hadn't gotten stuck in the mud, we would have been in the woods for the rest of the day. But we were right where we needed to be at just the right second in time.

"Stupid" worked out rather well that day.