My neighbor-across-the-street has launched two kites, and his son and daughter are flyin' them like a pair of pros. Considering that they are about knee-high, they ain't doin' bad!

I cannot fly a kite. I can fly off the handle, fly into a rage, fly down the highway if the cops ain't watchin', and that's about all.

My neighbor is an inventive kite-flier. And he's usually as high as the kite he flies. You can gain some altitude with a liberal application of Budweiser.
We don't hang with Gerald and his wife (you might remember them from my Wedded Bliss post awhile back). He kinda looks like Charles Manson (I always hear Helter-Skelter by the Beatles when I see him), and he cannot look me in the eye when he speaks to me. And he and T-Bird have "had words" before.

But last year he did something that caused my husband and I to stare..............in awe.
I had seen him struggling with a kite that morning. It's hard to get one airborn with a beer in one hand, especially when your drunk, and you don't want to put down the suds. He disappeared after a bit, and my husband and I went to town.
When we came back home, Gerald was standin' in his front yard, one hand in his jacket pocket, holding a longneck Bud in a death grip with the other hand. Staring skyward.
Searching the sky, we finally located what he was staring at. It was his kite, and it was so high up in the sky that we could barely make it out. It was just a dot waaaaaaaaaaay up there. Where planes fly! He had tied the end of the kite string to the end of the monofilament line on his fishing rod. Then, he stuck the fishing rod thru the side-mirror bracket of his truck!

Hands-free kite flying! Pretty handy when your Hell-bent on getting a buzz.

Well now, that calls for a comment, so we went over to check out this set-up. He said he could have gotten it up even higher if he hadn't run out of fishin' line!

Next time someone tells you to go fly a kite, do it the redneck way! That'll shut 'em up!

And don't forget the beer.